What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Everything about him screamed your future.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
