i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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