Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
