office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
