In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she smelled like a LAN party
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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