I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
third nipple confirmed
I just want to make out with him forever
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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