Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My friends, they love my intelligence
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize