Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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