my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We are two peas in an std pod
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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