The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
