The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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