After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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