I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
