Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize