I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
