I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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