i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
