i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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