There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize