ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
