I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize