That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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