how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
