omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
