butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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