bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize