So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He called his prostate his "boner button".
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I love you. Go after that dick
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
