No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
