I look better un-naked...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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