She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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