i don't plan on having that self control this summer
bring money and cleavage
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
