You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
