Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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