turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
