mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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