True but thats because hes a fetus.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
