Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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