And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize