do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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