You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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