True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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