the new term for farting is butt boxing.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
