My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
