party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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