Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
