WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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