Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We need to get me chipped asap
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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