I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
