i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
