hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
