Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
