I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
