I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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