guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize