I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
