I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
