brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize