he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
