dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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